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Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship, by David Givens
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A world renowned anthropologist explores the non-verbal signs, signals, and cues human beings exchange to attract and keep their mates. As a medium of communication, Love's silent language predates speech by millions of years. Today, we still express emotions and feelings largely apart from words. The postures, gestures, and facial cues of attraction are universal, in all societies and cultures.
According to Dr. Givens, courtship moves slowly though five distinct phases: attracting attention, recognition phase, conversation phase, touching phase, making love. Since potential mates "test" each other before uniting as one, courtship is a choreographed give and take of signs granting physical and emotional closeness.
Love Signals is part enthnography and part how-to. Dr. Givens documents the little courting rituals witnessed in elevators, on subways, and in the workplace. He examines the essential role the face plays in courtship and how it can be optimally displayed. He decodes the body to find silent messages given off by shoulders, neck, arms, hands, waist, calves, ankles, feet, and toes. Dr. Givens analyzes expressive shapes, colors, and markings encoded in arm wear, shoulder wear, leg wear, and shoes. He deciphers the background messages of spaces, places and interiors to learn how environs help or hinder in the meeting process. Chemical cues emanating from aromas, tastes, steroids, sterols, and hormones strongly shape a partner's feelings, so they are explored as well.
The book suggests ways to flirt, avoid mixed signals, read eyes, walk, dress, and lift a drink―to help you find a date, spark a relationship, and keep a mate. Knowing the hidden vocabulary of love signals will give you an edge. The more you know about these secret skills of attraction, the more likely you will find a loving, lasting partner.
- Sales Rank: #838427 in Books
- Published on: 2006-01-10
- Released on: 2006-01-10
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .2" w x 5.50" l, .30 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 256 pages
Review
“A masterful piece of work.” ―American Library Association on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
“Highly recommended.” ―New Scientist on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
“It's contents will enlighten you.” ―Discover Magazine's "Pick of the Web" on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
“Site of the Day.” ―Good Housekeeping on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
“Tells all you need to know--and much, much, much more.” ―San Francisco Examiner "Website of the Week" on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
“Very interesting reading.” ―Houston Chronicle on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
From the Inside Flap
Praise for Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary:
"A masterful piece of work."
- American Library Association
"Highly recommended."
- New Scientist
"It's contents will enlighten you."
- Discover Magazine's "Pick of the Web"
"Site of the Day."
- Good Housekeeping
"Tells all you need to know--and much, much, much more."
- San Francisco Examiner "Website of the Week"
"Very interesting reading."
- Houston Chronicle
About the Author
David Givens, Ph.D., is the director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington. He teaches Communication and Leadership in the graduate program of the School of Professional Studies at Gonzaga University. He is the author of Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship, Crime Signals: How to Spot a Criminal Before You Become a Victim, and Your Body at Work: A Guide to Sight-reading the Body Language of Business, Bosses, and Boardrooms. He offers seminars on nonverbal communication to diverse audiences, including lawyers, judges, social workers, salespeople, and physicians.
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
I love this book! It should be called "The Book of Secrets"
By Dr Ali Binazir
Imagine that you've had a weathered old treasure map lying around your house for years. People told you that it's a real treasure map, and yet for some reason, you never got around to following it. Finally, one day, out of curiosity, you say, "What the hell -- let's see where this takes us." You follow the map, and -- you find treasure! Who knew.
That's how I feel about "Love Signals" by Dr David Givens. I had known about its existence for years, but only now finally got to reading the whole book. What a treat! It is full of fascinating, little-known yet totally essential facts about how human beings operate in the world. I thought I had read every book under the sun about love and courtship, and yet this book contained reams of entirely brand-new data for me. I must have highlighted a good 40% of the text. Some delightful things I had never heard of before:
-- Lip compression and showing the tip of the tongue are unconscious aversive signals. If you do them, people will stay away, and you won't even know why.
-- Trigeminal taste, related to what people would call "heat" or "spiciness", is unexpectedly arousing
-- The importance of signaling vulnerability for a successful approach (eg through pigeon toes or an exposed neck), especially if you're a guy.
I particularly like that fact that Dr Givens has done a lot of the primary research himself and presents the data to you with the rigor and care of a scientist. No wildcat anecdotal claims in this book: everything is amply supported by peer-reviewed observation. The information in this book is so esssential and yet so little-known by the general public that it should be called "The Book of Secrets." And yet, here it is, hiding in plain sight. If you're interested in improving your love life or understanding humans a little bit better, this is essential reading.
-- Ali Binazir, M.D., M.Phil., author of The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible, the highest-rated dating book on Amazon for 157 weeks
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Timeless tutorial for courtship and body language.
By Cengiz Derin Algantürk
When I learned about the importance of body language, I thought what women look inside of the men when our bodies move? I searched long enough for a real-deal, science backed book which is I think shouldn't be just someones ideas and facts, rather supported with examples from nature and exemplary animals.
Seeing this book and It's bad and medium reviews made me hesitant about buying. I've read all of'em. But my instincts however forced me to at least try the sample. After reading some pages, I was hooked.
This book does really got it for me. I am teenager interested in applicable scientific knowledges to our everyday life, and I genuinely learned when to do, how to act, what to wear and made me understand what is courtship. Don't be mistaken, book isn't about "do-that" "not to's". It just explains and I figured many points(and if you buy, you'll) take the points out. Trust me please, and start reading it.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Highly Recommended guide to courtship, dating and relationships
By Steven Chambers
This book provides great insights into the nonverbal communications that take place in relationships, the dating process and in courtship. Written from an anthropological point of view, it's like a guidebook to the human mating process. I found it a fascinating, fun and easy to read book. The subject fascinates me and the author, an anthropologist, did a great job of outlining the process we all follow when we try to find love, regardless of culture or upbringing. As the book emphasizes, expressing love and interest in another person is largely nonverbal and reaches across the language barrier. Want to understand the process of how humans connect with one another, maybe even improve your ability to connect, then this is the book to read and absorb.
If you like to people watch, as I do, this book is also a great field guide to how people act and respond to others. It's great fun to take what you've learned in this book and use it to decode the actions of others as they struggle to meet, mingle and connect with others. With understanding comes enlightenment, and we can use the knowledge and insight provided in this book to be better at our relationships, both in establishing new ones and improving the ones we have now.
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